August 10, 2011

August 10, 2011

John and I just got back from the doctors office.  We heard your heartbeat today, it was pretty surreal that you are actually inside of me and growing.  There was a thunder storm last night that was crazy, it made me think of 3rd Nephi when the thunder and lightnings were all around and it was complete darkness.  There is lightining here that Utah does not experience, I’m rather glad Utah never had it.  I just got back from Utah on Sunday, John was pretty dang excited to have me home.  Each day I’m more and more grateful that he’s my husband, I feel so complete with him by my side.  He is such a doter and sweetheart in everything that I do.  He was really good about me being in Utah for about two weeks, he’d say “it’s okay sweetheart, I’m fine you stay out there as long as you want”  but after about two weeks he told me he didn’t care what it cost that he was ready for me to come home.

I loved Utah it was so pretty, the grass is as good as I ever remember and the tempature stayed about 80 to 85 with the nights cooling down to the sixty’s.  You’d need a little jacket when you went out in the mornings.  The girls were all such gooses.  I clipped Birdy’s steer the day before I came home, I started to tear up a little thinking this was going to be her last year.  20 years since we had our first steers, I have no idea where all the time went, how did it fly by so fast, we were all just little kids and now we are all having our own little babies and families.  The mountain was beautiful, I was so glad I got to ride up there, the cattle were fat and sassy and the company was wonderful.  It was good to be with dad, I realize everyday just how blessed I am to have him as a father, we sure have enjoyed some wonderful times together.  I have a hard time leaving him there, I worry about him daily that he will be safe and if I didn’t have John I don’t think I could stand to leave him.  He was quite the Mother hen on me being pregnant and riding, he didn’t want me to overdo myself and would call regularly to make sure that I wasn’t riding to far or to long.  I loved being horseback again, there is a freedom that is felt there that you can’t find anywhere else.

Tawnya is getting ready for her wedding, I know little Tawnya married, is that wild or what!  Rodney is a good kid and he loves and puts up with her, all of her, he doesn’t need to mold her or change her, he really loves her:)  She isn’t to crazy about all of the wedding planning, if someone would do it for her I’m sure that she would let them.  One day we were going over to the ranch and I asked her a question and she said that was the last thing that she wanted to worry about that she wanted to think of anything besides that.

When we moved the cows on the forrest we slept at Asay, Tawnya, Birdy, and I all packed into a double bed, sure it would be warm enough till morning without another blanket.  We all had on PJ’s, yes you can imagine we froze by morning, it was a terrible night sleep, I had a little pillow like you use on the plane that was all, yuck.  Everyone had to be facing the same way or there was no way no how the situation would work, I don’t think any of us got to much sleep but moments like that are soon fleeting, by little girls are about all grown up.  Everything is changing so fast.

My little Twitter bug turns four today, I still remember when she was born just like it was yesterday,  all of us girls were so excited for her to arrive.  Lou was letting her and Oakley put on their swimsuits and run through the sprinkler, it sounded like they were having a ball.

Birdy would yell at my tummy everyday, “Maggie I am your favorite aunt”  she wanted me to put the phone up to my belly last night and about blew out my eardrum when I didn’t.  We are supposed to have an ultrasound a month from today, with our travel schedule I’m not sure how that is going to work out.  The sale here is on the 25th and then we head to Nebraska where I’m supposed to judge at the state fair, then onto South Dakota and from there to Utah to the wedding.  I’m going to fly out a bit earlier than John to help get ready for the wedding and help get Birdy’s steers ready for Cedar.  We may just end up having the ultrasound in Utah.  My dreams have been on the crazy side as of late, last night I was dreaming about some outlaw from Lonesome Dove, how crazy is that.  I have felt great lately which is wonderful, today has been a lovely 90 degree’s how great is that!  Now if it would just stay there:)

I think I may go take a bit of a snooze!

Dear Maggie

Dear Maggie,                                                                                                                                                           Sometime in August

You have yet to enter this big world that I currently know, right now you sit nestled in my belly warm and safe.  At the moment we don’t know if you are a Max or a Maggie but we (Johnny G and I) both know that we love you, we pray for you daily, and we have wanted you since the beginning of us.  Someday I’m sure I’ll share with you all the laughter and some of the tears that led us on the path to you.  I look out into the world almost fearful of what we are bringing you into, scared a little that I won’t be able to teach you all that you need to know to go into the world a woman of virtue and strength.  You come from a long line of strong women on both sides, oh how you’ll love them.  You’ll know them, at least many of them.  We are giving you the middle name Ann, it encompases, Lori Ann, ANgela, tAwNya, and if I could figure out how it would include Julie, Michelle, and Emily.  They have all shaped my life and I know that they will help to shape yours.  Always hold your head high, be proud of the linage you carry.  

You will love your father, he is so excited that you are coming.  He’s gets all teary eyed when he starts to talk about you and makes sure to brag that your coming to our home to everyone.  He frets over me pretty good right now which is nice, I feel like I could sleep all the time, he tries to make sure that I get plenty.  He has an easy smile, a twinkle in his eye and a kindness about him that I’ve known very few to posses.  I hold two men in the highest regard, your grandfather, Gib, and your dad, they are perhaps my two favorite people in this world, very different but very similar in many ways.  Both men of virtue, honest, hard workers, who love the land, the cattle, and of course me:)  Your father and I have a wonderful love story.  As all this progresses I’m sure you’ll hear much of it!

This summer that you’ve decided to make your presence known has been hot and dry in Oklahoma, we have almost thirty days of 100 + heat with little to no rain.  Oklahoma is dry, with feed a precious commodity.  My loved Utah has been the opposite with mild tempatures and plenty of rain.  John leaves early (5:30) in the morning to work the cattle before it gets to hot.  He’s a little blue but still wears a smile and tells me it will be ok.

I’m starting to get a belly, it’s still fairly small but defintly there, I haven’t had to throw up but I feel like I have had week long bouts of the stomach flu.  The blossoming bosom I’ve never had has arrived.  I’ve about decided that is more of a curse than a blessing.  I’m getting up regularly to pee in the night.  

Just know anytime you go to do something wrong that there were sacrifices made for you to come to earth, just how loved you are and how many dreams and aspirations we hold in you.  We love you maggie,

Love,

Jeannie