Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My little piece of paradise


Well it’s four in the morning, I just had my first and probably one of my only night checks.  We had our first little baby here at home tonight.  How familiar I am with that walk out to the barn, pushing open that old sliding door, flipping on the light just inside the door, quietly walking up to see if the new calf has sucked so you don’t make her mother to nervous.   Walking through the other heifers who at this point are still a little skittish, after about four or five nights they start to realize the are heavy enough bred, they are going to get checked anyway and it’s not worth the effort to get up, it’s to hard and to uncomfortable.  They grunt and groan, after being pregnant I realize why. 
            I was going to turn the heat lamp off of the poor little thing but it’s below zero so we opted to leave it on.  It went -19 the other night with a high of about five, yes that is way to stinking cold, and yes you can imagine dad HATES it:)  It was a Final Answer out of L53 that calved, (Maternal sister to Mahogany). The little thing was just up and sucking, wagging it’s little tail, how glad I was to see that.   A1 how crazy is that, it was just yesterday that we had all our old A cows, I still remember the old A1, pretty darn well in fact, I remember her calving several times, A144, A84, B78, Z100, X93, in fact L60 was one of our very best old cows, we still have a heavy influence in our herd out of her, I remember she died up in 9 when she was about 11 or 12 or so and for some reason dad saw she still had every tooth in her head, she had been babied pretty good and never spent any time out on the desert, I had him pull one out of her head for a good luck charm, yes I know rather morbid, I do though wish I still had that tooth:)  Those cows that are forever stamped in my memory, how fast the years have flown.  The girls of my childhood are being replaced by the Girls of Maggie’s childhood now.  I pray they can offer her so many good memories. 
            The ditches are swollen and frozen and have filled all of the corrals with ice, there is still quite a little bit of snow and more out on the dessert.  They have been taking out hay everyday, I’ve really wanted to go out but it’s been to cold to take Maggie out in the elements and then both of us got sick:( ya big yuck, it was terrible.  Poor Emily is in bed now with about ten layers and the heat turned up to 100 degree’s because she is chilling and freezing to death.  I was between her and Maggie in bed and I thought I was going to roast, literally.  Em is doing good, she is so much more of my old Emily I can’t even put words to it.  She laughs a lot more and talks a lot more, she’s just Emily again.  I hope and pray with all my heart that she can find someone that will just let her be Emily, someone that she doesn’t feel she has to mold to what they want that she can be now what they want.    
            They are going to come and clean out the barn a little tomorrow and then bed it down heavier, it’s pretty dang nippley for anything to come into this world.  It has been so good to be home, I love everything about it minus one fact, my one true love isn’t here with me and because of that I’ll leave:) I’ve came to a realization that my happiness is tied close to his heart strings and where he is.  I never thought I would be able to make a life anywhere else, I NEVER wanted to.  Yet I’ve found how happy I am, how content with a man that is beyond words more suited for me than I ever could have dreamed.  They broke the mold after they made my Johnny G, there really isn’t anyone in the world like him and for him I would travel to the ends of the world (South Dakota just about fits that bill).  I have loved being home so much yet I’m yearning for him, all the little memories made, Maggie walking and laughing, sunsets and sunrises, new calves, just everything I want him there to share it.  I spent so many years alone, wondering why I couldn’t find someone.  There was a lot of cold bitter nights that I remember coming in from that barn and going back to a cold empty bed.  It was a pretty worthy thing to pray for, and I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working out, why I was still single, alone checking heifers in the middle of the night by myself.  I have since came to the realization that I had to be old enough that society wouldn’t think it was any bigger of a scandle then they did when I married the man that Heavenly Father had sent to this earth for me to find.  Everything that’s happened that was heartache led me to my greatest joy.  We fly into Denver to meet up with John tomorrow and even though I’m going to miss home like mad I’m like a giddy little school girl that I get to see him.
            Maggie has went from little baby steps to bigger toddling steps, how crazy is it that a year has passed?  She got the flu while we were here and has been so sick, poor little thing.  Being sick has made her rather cranky and clingy.  She has bit one of my nipples until it’s so stinken sore I can’t hardly stand to let her nurse.  My dad always said there was nothing that made him more mad then a heifer that kicked her calf, he has never breastfed.  It is getting time to wean her but it about breaks my heart to think of the poor little thing and how sad she is going to be, nursing is her greatest comfort and I’m not sure what we are going to replace it with.  While she was sick pretty much all she would do was nurse, she wouldn’t take any solids.  I was glad that I could at least still get something in her tummy. 
            Dad has been wonderful while I have been home, everyone has.  I come more and more everyday to the realization of how lucky I was to grow up in the home I did, to know right from wrong.  Everyday it becomes more and more black and white how that they way you live is in direct correspondence with your happiness, I will forever be grateful for my parents for setting that example for me.   Dad is so cute with Maggie, he coos to her and smiles at her, I pray she will be able to get to know him well, that is one of my greatest wishes, that is perhaps the hardest part of not living here at home.   Everyone has been good with our little Maggie, she squaks quite loud though when ANYONE tries to take her to far from me.  She does love Jessica and remembers her.  She played with her so stinken cute yesterday I wish I could just capture those moments and push pause in my life.  She has turned into the bossy little thing and has a way of getting her way.  Mom has been great here at home to, she is the mom that I knew growing up.  For awhile I don’t know what was all going on but our relationship was stressed to the point that I didn’t know if it would ever heal.  She is truly and Angel woman and I’m so proud to call her my mother. 
            Well I better get after a little advertisement while I’m still fresh enough to do it my eyes are starting to get heavy again. 

Many smiles and laughter,

Jeannie

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