I need to write in this more. It just seems like all the little unimportant and important things take up my moments and my time. I need to make time for this. The little memories and laughter, the first steps and the smiles. Tonight I was feeling rather overwhelmed with everything and I stayed up a little later than usual and cleaned up the kitchen. One of Garrett's toy rosters fell into the sink, there was several pieces of onion skin on the floor from earlier when Jack decided to hit it and peel it and roll it, and have a joyful time with it. There are spices scattered in various places throughout my kitchen on the floor of course because that is Jack's favorite drawer:) I scraped off Maggie's plate of a large quantity of barbecue and mayo that she had created. And instead of feeling overwhelmed I feel this wonderful sense of awe at the fact that all of those little messes are instead the real life proof that I have little people that love me and depend up on me. All of our kiddos have been sick the last few days and poor little Jack has been super clingy and underfoot. Sometimes I would do well to just slow down. There was a quote from the General Relief Society that said, "Don't let your blessings become your burdens." This is the day this is my life, my wonderful, beautiful, messy, crazy life.
My little Maggie Ann started kindergarten, can you believe it, kindergarten? Where did five years go, how do it go so fast. She is so full of spunk, so full of life and everything it entails. She tells me every night that I am her very favorite person in the world, my Maggie Magoo you are mine too:) I love you sweet girl. I pray that I can teach her to be kind and have empathy. She has a show pig up to the barn, her and Garrett LOVE LOVE LOVE to ride them. She is so proud everyday when she comes home and shows me everything she has done. Sending her to school was a big decision, I pray we made the right one. I so badly want to teach her and mold her into being the woman she is destined to be, to help her know that she is a daughter of God. Oh how I love her little soul.
Garrett broke his arm three weeks ago. If there is anything he loves it is his dad, he idolizes John and everything he does. They where riding in the pasture on a our fat, soft mares when Reba decided to buck, Reba is big, Garrett is small and the ground was hard. John went off of Flossy trying to grab a hold of Garrett. As soon as I saw him I knew his arm was broke. I hate for him to go through anymore pain. He really is such a good little fellow. They had to put him under sedation to set it, it was broke and badly. They wanted us to go out but the thought of leaving him alone and him being scared John bluntly told them no. They had to manipulate it quite a bit to get it to go back. We went in today and they cut off the hard cast and put it in a brace. He will wear that for three weeks and then we will go back in for them to look at it. He is a child that knows no strangers, he tells everyone "my name is Garrett Gilbert Griswold." He will talk to anyone about anything and is quite the little fibber and story teller. He has a fascination with guns at the moment, carries around a leatherman on his belt and dreams about more panels and chutes for his cows. His favorite store in the world is the mill.
My Jack Jack, how did you turn one. You have turned into such a little man, You are walking, you still love me unconditionally but the other day you held onto Maggie and wouldn't let her go. You love your dad right now quite a bit to. You hit Garrett with whatever you can find but would like to be doing whatever he is doing. You giggle when and play and I miss you fast little speed crawling, you are getting so you hardly crawl at all and I went from having a baby to a toddler. I wish that I could just pause time and make it all slow down and yet life and time marches on.
They are weaning at home right now, I would give anything to be there. I miss home this time of year so much. I love John, and he loves me, I'm really glad that we do because otherwise I don't know if I could stand not to be in Beaver, Utah. I miss my family and my parents. It bothers me not to closer to Dad, I worry about him so much. What a pillar of a man that I am so blessed to call Father. And my mom too, each day I am more grateful for the example of my parents and the way that they raised me. I told Lori today I think I am a better wife because I have my sisters. Three is quite overwhelming to me but I want Maggie to have a sister so bad, I don't know where I would be in my life without them, they are my best friends.
My Johnny stays busy as always, how he does all he does I will never know. He sent a load of calves to Poteau to French's today. We also got a great rain, we needed it. He called me and told me it was a $100,000 rain. He stays so positive and is always thinking, I sometimes wish I could slow him down a bit but am ever grateful that he is mine.
I better head off to dreamland now. I am a better mom with sleep and sick kiddos have left me lacking on it the last week.
Jeannie
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