Sunday, February 11, 2018

late night rambles

It is late so this will be short because one thing I have learned is that I am a much nicer mom when I get enough sleep.  I need to be more diligent on sitting down and writing on here.  I realize more everyday just how fleeting these days are and how I need to spend a little more time marveling at the beauty of motherhood.  It is hard, there are some days that by the end of the day I am 150% done.  Then I look at those sweet little faces and I sit in awe of the fact that they are mine and God has entrusted me with their little spirits to teach and mold.  That is perhaps what I lose as much sleep over and fret over as much as anything is I want so badly to teach them all that they need to know for this big world.  There are so many pitfalls that they can avoid if they will just "Hold to the Rod."  The older I get the more I realize just how vital the gospel is in everyday living.  That the simple gospel truths lead to happiness.

My little Maggie, my true romantic.  You go around most days singing a little song, tonight before you closed your eyes we sang "Whenever I hear the song of a bird" twice and then you hummed it before you closed your eyes.  You dress up daily in my clothes and love all things pretty and lovely.  You want to were comfy pants to school and avoid wearing your boots because you aren't as fast when you run.  Your PE teacher told your dad the other day how beautiful you were, but they thing that made me the most proud is she told him that you are kind to everyone.  It made my heart so happy.  I pray you will always be kind, always be vivacious, a leader, a doer.  You are in charge.  We cut your hair short, today on the way to church you told me you wanted three wishes, 1-to be a fairy and a mermaid, 2- to have hair as long as Rapunzals, 3-I think was to be able to fly.  You got a ring pop for the first time in your life for your birthday and you thought it was wonderful.  I know it may be a mom fail that you have never had one but we have had more than a few teeth issues:)  Today you came home and made brownies, and they asked if we could please also make gingersnaps, you are my sweet tooth!  You built a fort in the middle of the kitchen floor and asked me more than a few times to please make you some curtains for your fort lol!  When we were in Fort Worth you wanted to just have a daddy and Maggie date, and also to sit in the benches down by the river.  You are smart, and extremely bull headed!  You refuse to eat school lunch, (I don't blame you).  I love you Maggie, more than words can say.  I know at times I am hard on you, I'm learning how to do this mom thing too, and sometimes I stink at it.  I bought balloons for your birthday.  You and Garrett have had a ball, I mean a big and mighty time filling them up with water.  The other night I was painting and came out of the mudroom to find water balloons popped on the carpet, in the bathroom and in the kitchen.  I wasn't happy.  Every towel in our house was wet.  I made you and Garrett help clean up.  I'm pretty sure you thought you had the worst punishment in the world.  We are working hard on trying to be kind to one another and say things nicely.  I promise this will be something you will be glad you have mastered in life.

Garrett, you are my true blue little cowboy.  You wake up and think about cows, you dream about them in your sleep, and your playtime consists of nothing but cattle.  Today you hooked up two trailers and spent a good hour hauling all your bulls to get their semen collected.  You are your dad's right hand man, you sort, help brand, mix up milk for the calves know as much about cattle as most grown men.  You walk around the barn yard like you own it.  You tell quite the yarns lately.  You love to tell stories about flying coyotes, all the cows you worked, and "when you were little."  You are the kindest hearted child I have ever met.  If I spank you, which you do get spanked more than the average child, you tell me I broke your little heart in two.  You are a fierce protector of Jack, but you also beat him up.  You LOVE, your toys and spend hours sorting, working, branding, and hauling them.  The feed store is your all time favorite place and that is the greatest reward that can be promised.  I'm pretty sure that we own everything that they carry in their inventory now.  You love your dad, more than any child I have ever seen you love your dad.  You go with him and cry if he leaves you.  The other day you burned your coat on the branding pot, I still have no idea how you didn't get burned.  You love Momentum, the South Pasture, and 108 and you talk about them all the time.  You will tell me it's 120 cold outside, and you gage everything on some type of scale like that.  You will tell me cow numbers and you truly believe in your mind that you know.  You love to wear your spurs and your cowboy hat, and you tell people all the time that you are a real cowboy.  You have NO FEAR of anyone and you know no strangers,  you go up and talk to everyone like they are your long lost friend including adults.

My little Jack Jack, how have you got so big, my little baby has turned into my busy climbing, cupboard emptying, garbage hoarding, vent filling child.  You are into EVERYTHING!  You climb on EVERYTHING!  You cry quite loud when I move the chairs so you can't get on top of the counter and you love to yell "Ma" at me.  You are my little side kick.  I have a dry spot on my side that had me quite worried.  I couldn't figure out why it was there and I knew I hadn't always had it.  I googled it several times and read a gazillion reasons as to why it may be there.  Then it dawned on my one day it's because I always carry you there.  You don't sit like a normal baby you balance on my hip with your knees or your feet lol you are a little character.  I love to watch you toddle around.  You love to go, try on everyone's shoes, ( you have put on Maggie's roller skates several times the last few days ), and you are getting to the point where you won't hardly settle down for a nap.  Garrett has a bad cough so John stayed home with him today while I went to church to teach my lesson and I left you home.  I faced time him when I got out of church and you looked at the phone and teared up and said MAMA, it about broke my heart.  I'm not quite ready for you not to be my baby.  I have loved being a mama and I'm not ready to have this little one part of my life done.  Right now if I am sitting in a chair you pull on my finger and make me move and then hurry as fast as you can to climb up to the table.  You insist on eating by yourself and you are actually pretty handy with a spoon and fork.  You take ahold of your Daddy's finger and pull him to where you want him to be.  You have got so you like to go and sit next to him on the couch and it tickles him pink, it is pretty darn cute.  I love your little dimple smiles and your happy giggles.  You are my sunshine, my worry wart, my little perfectionist.  You know who and what belongs to whom and where and it worries you when things like that aren't quite in order.

Johnny I love you, everyday I love you a little more than I did before, how time has flown.  You have blessed my life so much and I feel so complete with you by my side.  How did I find you.  We seldom sleep in the same bed and try to find little moments to spend together.  You carry so much weight on your shoulders and I worry about all loads that you bear.  You still are one of the kindest and most endearing men I know.  I like you just as much as I love you!

All the girls are home this weekend and I must admit I am a bit jealous.  They are working on our plum bum!  JD died, his funeral is tomorrow and they are all going to go.  What a great man who touched my life.  A dear friend, and true disciple of Christ and someone who taught me so much in how to treat others.  I will miss him, I really loved him and appreciated him so much throughout my life.

I am going to go off to dreamland now!

Sweet dreams,

Jeannie

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