My messes mean I'm loved

I need to write in this more.  It just seems like all the little unimportant and important things take up my moments and my time.  I need to make time for this.  The little memories and laughter,  the first steps and the smiles.  Tonight I was feeling rather overwhelmed with everything and I stayed up a little later than usual and cleaned up the kitchen. One of Garrett's toy rosters fell into the sink, there was several pieces of onion skin on the floor from earlier when Jack decided to hit it and peel it and roll it, and have a joyful time with it.  There are spices scattered in various places throughout my kitchen on the floor of course because that is Jack's favorite drawer:)  I scraped off Maggie's plate of a large quantity of barbecue and mayo that she had created.  And instead of feeling overwhelmed I feel this wonderful sense of awe at the fact that all of those little messes are instead the real life proof that I have little people that love me and depend up on me.  All of our kiddos have been sick the last few days and poor little Jack has been super clingy and underfoot.  Sometimes I would do well to just slow down.  There was a quote from the General Relief Society that said, "Don't let your blessings become your burdens."  This is the day this is my life, my wonderful, beautiful, messy, crazy life.

My little Maggie Ann started kindergarten, can you believe it, kindergarten? Where did five years go, how do it go so fast.  She is so full of spunk, so full of life and everything it entails.  She tells me every night that I am her very favorite person in the world, my Maggie Magoo you are mine too:) I love you sweet girl.  I pray that I can teach her to be kind and have empathy.  She has a show pig up to the barn, her and Garrett LOVE LOVE LOVE to ride them.  She is so proud everyday when she comes home and shows me everything she has done.  Sending her to school was a big decision, I pray we made the right one.  I so badly want to teach her and mold her into being the woman she is destined to be, to help her know that she is a daughter of God.  Oh how I love her little soul.

Garrett broke his arm three weeks ago.  If there is anything he loves it is his dad, he idolizes John and everything he does.  They where riding in the pasture on a our fat, soft mares when Reba decided to buck, Reba is big, Garrett is small and the ground was hard.  John went off of Flossy trying to grab a hold of Garrett.  As soon as I saw him I knew his arm was broke.  I hate for him to go through anymore pain.  He really is such a good little fellow.  They had to put him under sedation to set it, it was broke and badly.  They wanted us to go out but the thought of leaving him alone and him being scared John bluntly told them no.  They had to manipulate it quite a bit to get it to go back.  We went in today and they cut off the hard cast and put it in a brace.  He will wear that for three weeks and then we will go back in for them to look at it.  He is a child that knows no strangers, he tells everyone "my name is Garrett Gilbert Griswold."  He will talk to anyone about anything and is quite the little fibber and story teller.  He has a fascination with guns at the moment, carries around a leatherman on his belt and dreams about more panels and chutes for his cows.  His favorite store in the world is the mill.

My Jack Jack, how did you turn one.  You have turned into such a little man, You are walking, you still love me unconditionally but the other day you held onto Maggie and wouldn't let her go.  You love your dad right now quite a bit to.  You hit Garrett with whatever you can find but would like to be doing whatever he is doing.  You giggle when and play and I miss you fast little speed crawling, you are getting so you hardly crawl at all and I went from having a baby to a toddler.  I wish that I could just pause time and make it all slow down and yet life and time marches on.

They are weaning at home right now, I would give anything to be there.  I miss home this time of year so much.  I love John, and he loves me, I'm really glad that we do because otherwise I don't know if I could stand not to be in Beaver, Utah.  I miss my family and my parents.  It bothers me not to closer to Dad, I worry about him so much.  What a pillar of a man that I am so blessed to call Father.  And my mom too, each day I am more grateful for the example of my parents and the way that they raised me.  I told Lori today I think I am a better wife because I have my sisters.  Three is quite overwhelming to me but I want Maggie to have a sister so bad, I don't know where I would be in my life without them,  they are my best friends.

My Johnny stays busy as always, how he does all he does I will never know.  He sent a load of calves to Poteau to French's today.  We also got a great rain, we needed it.  He called me and told me it was a $100,000 rain.  He stays so positive and is always thinking, I sometimes wish I could slow him down a bit but am ever grateful that he is mine.

I better head off to dreamland now.  I am a better mom with sleep and sick kiddos have left me lacking on it the last week.

Jeannie

One Year, how the time does fly

My little Jack Jack, how have you turned one year old already?  It seams like just yesterday you were my little tiny baby all wrapped up in a hospital blanket, so new, so full of wonder and awe and now you are my little chubby crawler who is ready to take the dishwasher and every open cupboard by storm.  I love you Jack, you are my little baby, I think that I have enjoyed you more just because I know how fleeting all these precious little moments are.  Tonight we sang happy birthday to you and when we said Jack, you knew that all the fuss comotion was about you!  You have four little teeth and your eye teeth are just getting ready to pop through.  You LOVE to be held and you are into everything.  You are  growing to love your daddy more everyday, you grin so easy for him and love to ride on the four wheeler.  You adore Maggie and she adores you, this morning she woke up and said, “How is our birthday boy?”  She packs you around all over and is such a proud little mamma of you.  Always stay close to your brother and sister.  The older I get the more I realize how precious these bonds are.  Of anything I can teach you and your siblings it is to love one another.  We have to get up early to take your brother to a dermatologist on his skin deals he has going on so this is going to be short.  Just know that you are my little sunshine, I have loved having you so much and I am so glad that you came to our family.  Chose the right always my little man, be strong and true just like your daddy and grandpa’s.  You will be walking any day. I just want to breath you in a little longer, keep you small for awhile.  Don’t blink, how the time does fly.  I love you forever!

Your momma

Oh how the time flies:) my little bambino is five months old. My love for him grows just a little more everyday. He is my smiling, happy, bubbly baby. I just want to keep him all wrapped up all the time in kisses and loves. I think often about the fact that he could be my last. I savor the moments, knowing that all too quick those chubby baby fingers will be slender little toddler hands. I have enjoyed my little jack. Maggie adores him. She loves to make him laugh, to hold him. She just flat out loves him.

We are all recovering from the stomach flu minus John and jack. John is getting it now and I'm praying jack doesn't. John stayed up all last night fretting about Maggie and I. He kept jack all night and I'm fairly sure he is running in zero sleep. Maggie was violently ill, she made me giggle more than once even for as si k as she was. She is hillarious. She was quite worried John would get sick and that Garrett would have to take care of us. She wants all the bad bugs out if her tummy. She loves the word freakin and used it multiple times.

John was a little short with her the other night. She told him it was okay because she knew he was under a lot of stress. The next night she told him she knew he wasn't getting much sleep. What a good. I'm going to try and get my little man to bed. He is wired tight

This morning I did Maggie's hair in pig tails. She looked in the mirror and said, looking pretty Maggie, looking pretty." She is so funny and so much fun. She was playing barbies tonight with one barbie and two toothbrushes. She has a vivid imagination. I love her so much. I would love to just freeze time. Garrett has gotten his baby chub back just a little. He is such a kind little fellow. He doesn't just love John, he idolizes him and wants to be with him always. We have one mean rooster right now that petrified the kids. They both scream loud when he comes around and if they are mean I threaten to put them out with him. It usually shapes them up pretty fast. Maggie prays at night that the coyotes will get him. He even has me a little voodooed. Tonight Maggie stood in the door and told John to shoot it dad, shoot it. Empathetic child:) Jack is growing like a weed. I forgot how little you got done with a new baby it also just how fun they where. He is a grunted and groaner. Prefers to be held. Looks nothing like my other two but oh how we love him!! Maggie is crazy about him. He is chubbing up and starting to make eye contact. How I love them. We sent heifers to Stillwater today from poteau, the craziness of fall has begun:( we leave tomorrow to go back to Stillwater, I wish not. I've had someone tipping my windows out, there hasn't been a good time to tell John. Pretty sure he's going to notice. So glad my babies live in the US. It is a scary world right now. I pray they will know peace. I e got my littles about to sleep. I better go catch the chickens and lock them up.

There is a corn on the cob sitting on the couch. My kiddos just went out the door to check pastures with John. Maggie was wearing a tutu and ballarina slippers. She changed into a striped shirt with leopard leggings and cowboy boots and Garrett is sporting cowboy boots and his underwear. They just came to knock on the window and show me the rainbow in the sky. I just changed jacks dirty diaper. The sun is shining

Love my babies

Well it's 10:00 and all the little ones are in bed except of our little Jack who is still trying to settle down. We have changed three diapers while his little tummy gets regulated. Tonight he is dressed in One of Garrett's onsies, it's hard to believe me little wild Indians where ever this small. It makes me almost cry at how fast they have went from my little babes to my small people. Maggie is so grown up. Today we had tea parties, and she talked to me in her finest English accent. We read books and tried to get the house clean. My little wild banche Garrett undid everything as fast as I got it done. He peed on my little sette and then wet his pants. The little pill. He wanted a diaper on. He is about potty trained and is fascinated with his Peter. Keeping underwear on him is next to impossible. He squose half a tube of toothpaste down the sink while washing his hands. Unmade the bed as fast as j made it and unfolded about a dozen blankets I had just folded. He makes it up to me with sugary kisses, I'm sorry mom and I love yous. He is the sweetest little soul I know. I am so blessed to be a mamma. He wakes up with a happy "it's morning" everyday. He is meaner than the dickens to Maggie. He pinches, scratches, and hits. He seeks her out just to torture her and crouched down and hunched over a little, he delights in it like no other. Maggie is my little helper. She adores Jack and can't hardly stand to leave him alone. He is her little real doll and she dotes on him, kisses and loves him. I have to watch her like a hawk because she is certain she is big enough to pick him up. Every night when it cools off a little the kiddos strip down to nothing and play in the hose. Their cute little dimples bottoms and screams of glee may provide some of my favorite memories of this summer. I never realized I could love so much. 

John has been swamped and every night seems to come in a little more tired than the night before. My heart is so happy with him. What a good man he is. Everyday I fall just a little more in love with him. Tonight I was watching out the window. He was worn out and his pants were covered in manure. You could tell it had been a long day, he was holding Jack and watching our two other hoolagans play in the kiddy pool. Tonight he is cuddled up in bed with both Maggie and Garrett. He is such a good dad and food husband. 

Utah is dry, really dry. I'm praying every night that they get rain. 

I'm off to dream land. 

Jeannie

Jack Wallace Griswold

Tonight I'm nursing our brand new little baby Jack. We are now a little family of five. My other two little ones are curled up next to their daddy and he is telling them stories of when he was a little boy. He is telling her about showering in the basement and how cold it was. Maggie is enthralled with when we where younger. I am so blessed. Everyday I realize just how much I have to be thankful for. I would like to capture these moments and never let them go. 

This time last year we where in the city with our little man Garrett praying for a miracle. How much has changed in a year. He is doing so well. This year we brought another miracle home from the city. 

On Monday I went down for an ultrasound and dr Deschamp decided that it was time for our new little one to come into this world. I had Maggie with me. She thought the birthing ball was wonderful. She bounced and bounced on it. John was working a bunch of calves from poteau, his last big project before the baby came. They worried the pulse in the umbilical cord was dropping to low so it was time. We got All checked in and joe came down and picked up my little sweetheart and took her back home.  Mom, grandma, and my aunt Caroline where flying in that night. How grateful I was to know they would be at home with my babies. At about 1:30 or so that morning our precious new little baby boy entered this world. I couldn't believe it was a boy, I was certain he was a Ruby. Maggie is so in love. We are all so in love. I will come back and write more. Tonight while my little Jack Wallace is asleep I'm going to close my eyes. How blessed I feel tonight!

I haven't let myself revisit a lot of the Boston memories from last year. Tonight marks one year since we flew out. I've looked through the pictures, and remembered the raw emotion of it all. How scary, how real, and how out of our control it all was. How blessed we have been this last year. How blessed we are to have our little family. How thankful I am for my husband and my children. How grateful I am for a Heavenly Father to love me enough to give me so much.  What a wonderful life it has been. I am going to start writing on here again. I had to step away for awhile. I haven't even visited our blog in over a year. The whole memory of it all was to raw. It's time. 

Tomorrow my mom, grandma, and aunt Caroline will fly back to Utah. How blessed I am to ha e such women as an example to me. They are the very essence of godly women. How I strive to live like them. They have been so kind to me and my little ones. My heart hurts to see them go. I've avoided saying the prayers while they are here because I knew I would cry and tonight I'm sitting here crying like a baby. How I will miss them. 

Our little Jack is growing. He is so much more alert now and opening his eyes. Oh how I love his sweet little presence in our home. Please Father in heaven, watch over and protect my babies. Protect this sacred life that I get to live. That is my prayer, each and everyday.