Oh how the time flies:) my little bambino is five months old. My love for him grows just a little more everyday. He is my smiling, happy, bubbly baby. I just want to keep him all wrapped up all the time in kisses and loves. I think often about the fact that he could be my last. I savor the moments, knowing that all too quick those chubby baby fingers will be slender little toddler hands. I have enjoyed my little jack. Maggie adores him. She loves to make him laugh, to hold him. She just flat out loves him.

We are all recovering from the stomach flu minus John and jack. John is getting it now and I'm praying jack doesn't. John stayed up all last night fretting about Maggie and I. He kept jack all night and I'm fairly sure he is running in zero sleep. Maggie was violently ill, she made me giggle more than once even for as si k as she was. She is hillarious. She was quite worried John would get sick and that Garrett would have to take care of us. She wants all the bad bugs out if her tummy. She loves the word freakin and used it multiple times.

John was a little short with her the other night. She told him it was okay because she knew he was under a lot of stress. The next night she told him she knew he wasn't getting much sleep. What a good. I'm going to try and get my little man to bed. He is wired tight

This morning I did Maggie's hair in pig tails. She looked in the mirror and said, looking pretty Maggie, looking pretty." She is so funny and so much fun. She was playing barbies tonight with one barbie and two toothbrushes. She has a vivid imagination. I love her so much. I would love to just freeze time. Garrett has gotten his baby chub back just a little. He is such a kind little fellow. He doesn't just love John, he idolizes him and wants to be with him always. We have one mean rooster right now that petrified the kids. They both scream loud when he comes around and if they are mean I threaten to put them out with him. It usually shapes them up pretty fast. Maggie prays at night that the coyotes will get him. He even has me a little voodooed. Tonight Maggie stood in the door and told John to shoot it dad, shoot it. Empathetic child:) Jack is growing like a weed. I forgot how little you got done with a new baby it also just how fun they where. He is a grunted and groaner. Prefers to be held. Looks nothing like my other two but oh how we love him!! Maggie is crazy about him. He is chubbing up and starting to make eye contact. How I love them. We sent heifers to Stillwater today from poteau, the craziness of fall has begun:( we leave tomorrow to go back to Stillwater, I wish not. I've had someone tipping my windows out, there hasn't been a good time to tell John. Pretty sure he's going to notice. So glad my babies live in the US. It is a scary world right now. I pray they will know peace. I e got my littles about to sleep. I better go catch the chickens and lock them up.

There is a corn on the cob sitting on the couch. My kiddos just went out the door to check pastures with John. Maggie was wearing a tutu and ballarina slippers. She changed into a striped shirt with leopard leggings and cowboy boots and Garrett is sporting cowboy boots and his underwear. They just came to knock on the window and show me the rainbow in the sky. I just changed jacks dirty diaper. The sun is shining

Love my babies

Well it's 10:00 and all the little ones are in bed except of our little Jack who is still trying to settle down. We have changed three diapers while his little tummy gets regulated. Tonight he is dressed in One of Garrett's onsies, it's hard to believe me little wild Indians where ever this small. It makes me almost cry at how fast they have went from my little babes to my small people. Maggie is so grown up. Today we had tea parties, and she talked to me in her finest English accent. We read books and tried to get the house clean. My little wild banche Garrett undid everything as fast as I got it done. He peed on my little sette and then wet his pants. The little pill. He wanted a diaper on. He is about potty trained and is fascinated with his Peter. Keeping underwear on him is next to impossible. He squose half a tube of toothpaste down the sink while washing his hands. Unmade the bed as fast as j made it and unfolded about a dozen blankets I had just folded. He makes it up to me with sugary kisses, I'm sorry mom and I love yous. He is the sweetest little soul I know. I am so blessed to be a mamma. He wakes up with a happy "it's morning" everyday. He is meaner than the dickens to Maggie. He pinches, scratches, and hits. He seeks her out just to torture her and crouched down and hunched over a little, he delights in it like no other. Maggie is my little helper. She adores Jack and can't hardly stand to leave him alone. He is her little real doll and she dotes on him, kisses and loves him. I have to watch her like a hawk because she is certain she is big enough to pick him up. Every night when it cools off a little the kiddos strip down to nothing and play in the hose. Their cute little dimples bottoms and screams of glee may provide some of my favorite memories of this summer. I never realized I could love so much. 

John has been swamped and every night seems to come in a little more tired than the night before. My heart is so happy with him. What a good man he is. Everyday I fall just a little more in love with him. Tonight I was watching out the window. He was worn out and his pants were covered in manure. You could tell it had been a long day, he was holding Jack and watching our two other hoolagans play in the kiddy pool. Tonight he is cuddled up in bed with both Maggie and Garrett. He is such a good dad and food husband. 

Utah is dry, really dry. I'm praying every night that they get rain. 

I'm off to dream land. 

Jeannie

Jack Wallace Griswold

Tonight I'm nursing our brand new little baby Jack. We are now a little family of five. My other two little ones are curled up next to their daddy and he is telling them stories of when he was a little boy. He is telling her about showering in the basement and how cold it was. Maggie is enthralled with when we where younger. I am so blessed. Everyday I realize just how much I have to be thankful for. I would like to capture these moments and never let them go. 

This time last year we where in the city with our little man Garrett praying for a miracle. How much has changed in a year. He is doing so well. This year we brought another miracle home from the city. 

On Monday I went down for an ultrasound and dr Deschamp decided that it was time for our new little one to come into this world. I had Maggie with me. She thought the birthing ball was wonderful. She bounced and bounced on it. John was working a bunch of calves from poteau, his last big project before the baby came. They worried the pulse in the umbilical cord was dropping to low so it was time. We got All checked in and joe came down and picked up my little sweetheart and took her back home.  Mom, grandma, and my aunt Caroline where flying in that night. How grateful I was to know they would be at home with my babies. At about 1:30 or so that morning our precious new little baby boy entered this world. I couldn't believe it was a boy, I was certain he was a Ruby. Maggie is so in love. We are all so in love. I will come back and write more. Tonight while my little Jack Wallace is asleep I'm going to close my eyes. How blessed I feel tonight!

I haven't let myself revisit a lot of the Boston memories from last year. Tonight marks one year since we flew out. I've looked through the pictures, and remembered the raw emotion of it all. How scary, how real, and how out of our control it all was. How blessed we have been this last year. How blessed we are to have our little family. How thankful I am for my husband and my children. How grateful I am for a Heavenly Father to love me enough to give me so much.  What a wonderful life it has been. I am going to start writing on here again. I had to step away for awhile. I haven't even visited our blog in over a year. The whole memory of it all was to raw. It's time. 

Tomorrow my mom, grandma, and aunt Caroline will fly back to Utah. How blessed I am to ha e such women as an example to me. They are the very essence of godly women. How I strive to live like them. They have been so kind to me and my little ones. My heart hurts to see them go. I've avoided saying the prayers while they are here because I knew I would cry and tonight I'm sitting here crying like a baby. How I will miss them. 

Our little Jack is growing. He is so much more alert now and opening his eyes. Oh how I love his sweet little presence in our home. Please Father in heaven, watch over and protect my babies. Protect this sacred life that I get to live. That is my prayer, each and everyday. 

Discharge continue...

Right when I was writing this morning Garrett woke up and then threw up. I debated for an hour before I texted john. He was really fussy last night but hasn't had anymore symptoms today. They are doing a transfusion now and I think we may still get to go!
Saturday Maggie and I went to get dinner and john took Garrett to the garden. He sat him on s chair and when he went to pick him up somehow his drain tube caught and pulled out the stitch and an inch or do of tubing. By the time the doctor came to look at it the drain was all the way out. I do think Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways. We were freaking out, john claims he wasn't but he was. So far his body has handled the drainage really well. We do know there is still some discharge, he acts irritated quite often. He is still pretty pale and doesn't have much stamina but everyday is s little better than the one before. They have weaned him off of his tpn over the last few days and we are waiting for his last antibiotic treatment for the mrsa now.
The doctors are putting him on an antibiotic that they use on aids patients for his immune system. His levels are all about as rock bottom as they can get. He will take that until everything is more up to par. I think we will be working with an immunologist at primary childrens for the next while when we go home to Utah. They don't have a pediatric immunologist in the state of Oklahoma, just one more reason to move Johnny:)
Maggie is so excited we are going to be together as a family. I wish I could have recorded her when I told her we were all going to the motel together. If you could define glee that was her pure emotion! She asked if Garrett was all better and we could go home to our Oklahoma house.
Last night we went out to the garden. There was three little boys all under two, all had the familiar brown bag they use to hang the tpn under on the iv pump. They all had pic lines and all looked sick. It was almost surreal that just last week we were in the same spot, the same what ifs and wondering what ifs. My heart aches for them. How glad and thankful I am for modern medicine, for doctors that stretch the limits, yet how much you hurt for the little souls who are so sick. Hospitals are not a place where babies should spend their growing days.
Thank you to everyone for all the prayers. I told someone that even though I have told people I pray for them you never really realize how much it means until you are on the receiving end. I have felt your love and the sweet spirit of a Heavenly Father that I KNOW is mindful of me and my little family.

Discharge!!!!!!!

Well today is a day that we have wondered would really ever come!! The last week has been a roller coaster but the lows haven't been nearly as low and we have had many more highs. Garrett spiked a fever 9 days ago. He had had a really good night and was as happy as could be when he went to sleep. He'd ate a full thing of Cheerios and drank his fat free milk like a champ. At about 1:30 I could tell he was getting a fever. All of the night nurses have complained they can't get a temp on him in the night because he sleeps with his arm out away from his body and the thermometer won't register. I called the nurse and she said his temp was low enough she wasn't worried. As a mom when you lay by your child 20 out of 24 hours you know when something is amiss. He was too hot and too uncomfortable. I called her again a half an hour later and she retook his temp under the same arm. It was 101.5 so she brought in some Tylenol. He was livid by this time. Trying to get a toddler that is mad to take medicine in the little of the night is like trying to part the Red Sea. We got it down him but I could tell after about five min everything was coming back up. He threw up everywhere. They came in and changed the sheets. He has had a lot of anxiety when the nurses are in the room and by this point was a pretty sad little guy. The doctors ordered tests and labs and started him on antibiotics. About this time they started to worry about how anemic he was. We have been giving iron supplements for about a week now. The nurses are also having a hard time getting his pic line to draw blood. They had been taking it out of his tpn line. If they didn't flush well enough his numbers came back scewed and they would have to redraw with another waste and another draw. I'm sure they thought I was crazy, by now I'm pretty aware of certain things. I would tell them they needed to flush extra and they would just smile and do the regular flush. An hour sir so later they would come back in with scewed results. One day they pulled his blood three times. His little body couldn't keep up. Thursday night they woke me up at 3:30 or so to sign papers to give a blood transfusion. He was too anemic they felt to wait. We also did an ivig transfusion in Friday and will do another today. The fluid they pulled off of his belly came back positive for mrsa. This was my low day. I knew how mean it could be. John really felt like the antibiotics were working so we kept our chin up. By this point his drain had also went way down, like to 100 or less ml a day. His tummy was also looking good. It's pretty hard to get to excited because you start anticipating another set back and preparing for it emotionally. But they kept flushing his drain and it was flushing awesome, one day they pulled off about 260 but a few days later they couldn't pull anything.
Friday night john felt confident enough to stay with Garrett so I went to the motel with Maggie, to say she was happy was an understatement. She is like a little goat. She jumps and runs like a little goat. She has to run up every set of steps and see how fast she can come down every wheel chair access. She is our happy thoughts during all of this and truly out little sunshine. We take her baby buggy with us everywhere. If Garrett is lucky she lets him push it:)